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Meilleur Ami, S'il Vous Plait ?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007

For you who don't understand, my title means "Best Friends, Please ?" in french. so of course this post is going to be about a best friend. after i read Jazel's blog, it kinda hit me, hard. then she told me to write it down. so thats what i'm going to do.
I've had a few bstfrnds in my life. my first, was a boy in tadika but we ended up in different primary schools. then, a girl from std 1 to std 3 bt we went to different classes and she became a prefect while i became a troublemaker. then, in std 3, i met my longest bstfrnd to date. by this year, we've been bstfrnds for 5 years. we've had fights but they were the petty kind people tend to forget. and we did. but growing up and high school changed all that. we went into different classes, obviously making different friends. but we did promise each other to meet up at breaktime. the promise, we kept. after a while i started hanging out with my new frnds and her. they accepted her easily bt it took her a while.
But after a while, she started to say things behind my back. bad things. like, "i was a bitch for ignoring her for my new frnds". "i changed for the utmost worst". of course i'm hurt as hell by this. because i dnt ever recall me leaving her as much as she left me. and if i changed for the worst why wouldnt she tell me to my face. but being me, i kept quite. then one day in school, she shouts at me in front of evrybody. saying i'm irritating, that i'm a bitch and a hor. i didnt knw what to say so i just kept quite. i'm not the kind that cries but when you hear your bstfrnd say stuff like that. you tend to hurt, alot. so when i went home, i cried. but being me it wasnt much. after that everything went back to normal. i kept my mouth shut for at least another year.
This year started out all right, we ended up in different classes again. but somehow we tried to make it better. but it never worked. after a while, i started avoiding her. i knew it was wrong but at the time it was all i wanted to do. soon, she noticed this and we finally had the biggest fight. i knew it wouldnt be the same after that. we'd still be friends but not anything like what we used to be.

so to you,
i'll miss you,
and the times we had,
when i had yr back,
and you had mine,
when we'd beat up the boys together,
when we finally fell,
and to you,
i ask for forgiveness,
for the times i wasnt there,
and for the times i let you down,
to you,
i forgive you,
wether you want it or not,
but i'll miss you.

au' revoir meilleur ami

oooh love.
Saturday, November 24, 2007

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Emo Honey

well, in my last blogs, i dnt thnk i've ever mentioned a boyfriend or at least someone special. my friends would probably know who he is. he's my Emo Honey. because he's emo and i like calling him honey. hehe. he's funny, slightly irritaing, loving, caring, honest, oddly happy yet emo and is very easily hurt. i see him almost everyday. we've been together for almost a year and a half. we've been through some serious shit and when i say shit, i mean really big fights. i like to see girls drool over him so i can go up to them and say "srry babe, he's mine". hehe. no la. i acually dnt gve a shit. and the picture was taken after we went swimming, we were just so tired. and oh, i love him.

"ada cerita,
tentang aku dan dia,
saat kita berduka,
saat kita tertawa"

au' revoire amour

That Scary Feeling
Friday, November 23, 2007

this is gnna be an odd post, compared to the others. well, my close friends are going to start to think im emo when they read this. but not yet Vee. oh well, today me n edy had this conversation about death. odd, i know. he told me about how he didnt understand death. like when his grandmums died he didnt cry. he didnt know what it meant. then i remembered when i first witnessed death.
i dnt really remember who she was, all i know is that she was really important in the family. i didnt understand it at all. evrybody crying, the men praying. i was a child and it was so sad. then i went into this room, all the women were hooded. all of them crying and listening to the prayers. and on the bed was a body covered in cloth. being the curious child i was, i opened the covers and i saw a pale, frail face of the lady. she looked peaceful but it looked so sad to me n even more frightening. then without warning my mother picked me up and took me outside. she told me to stay put and behave myself and i obeyed. i felt odd, like it was all going to dissapear. i felt death. i'm not sure wether i cried or not. and i'm not sure wether it really happened, or wether it was only a dream or wether it's someone else's memory that i seem to remember as my own. but death is something i don't want to meet. nowadays, looking at my grandparents, i get this overwhelming feeling of fear to lose them. i jst cant imagine life without them.

'where did i go wrong,
i lost a friend,
somewhere along,
the bitterness end,
but i stayed up,
with you all night,
and i know,
how to save a life'
by; the fray

au' revouir amour

Schools Out For the Summer !
Sunday, November 18, 2007

Well, its been quite some time since the last time i wrote. n school has ended since then. me,Vee, Shasha, Ariff, n Lee spent our lst day at Pizza Hut then we went to swim at the club. loads of fun, bt a lil tiring at the end. nowadays im a lil more free. going where i wnna go without my parents making a fuss. im also kinda busy with this story i've been working on for at least a month. n im also back to writin my poems.

Kak Leya's wedding is edging closer and evryone is even more stessed out than ever before. i'd hate to imagine the week of the wedding itself. the invitations hve gone out. bt nt yet to my friends. n its been real odd seeing my sisters name on all the cards. i dnt think i've taken the fact in yet. it's kinda sad. i think i'll probably be crying mase the nikah. hehe. i hope nt bawling bt jst a few tears here n there. eventhough she's a bitch and a half, i still love her. kakak doh.

prom pn da dkat. i still dnt hve a dress. hehe. i sound so, nt me. anyways, i've invited guys from all over wilayah. from shah alam to subang to ampang. haha. cn u imagine. thn on prom yana's gnna sng with edy's band n i jst cnt wait. yana cn sng ok. n edy's band rocks socks. n all me abgs r gnna be there. n we'll be dancin. wuu !

and PMR next year !
seriously freaked out. im nt the smart type. more like the having fun type.

oh well, i still hafta try. dammit !

here's a sng.
"ku mencintaimu,
lebih dari apa pun,
meskipun tiada,
satu orang pun yg tahu,
ku mencintaimu,
sedalam-dalam hatiku,
meskipun kau hanya,
kekasih gelapku."
by Ungu.

au' revoire amour

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