Your Personal

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Me : Pa, would Tok Late have liked us ?
Papa : Oh yah, he loved young people. especially those who could talk and think. die suke yg pandai.
Me : OK, too bad we never got to know him.
Yana : Tu la, papa selalu cerita like he was the greatest man ever.

i visited my granddad's grave this afternoon. he was my dad's dad. he was only 50 when he passed on, my dad only 18. his grave was a little grander than the others around him. we prayed for him in our hearts. i never knew him but i always knew he took care of me and my sisters.

Monday, September 29, 2008

i walked into the house and that sense of love overwhelmed me. i never thought i'd feel this bad. i brought the food to the kitchen where they told me to put it on the table. i did what i was told then i just started wandering around. at first, i had no idea why. then it hit me, i was looking for her. among the laughing women, talking men and crying babies, all i looked for was her comforting voice and warm hug. looking at the food, i kept wondering where was her dish ? i went upstairs to eat. and i sat infront of the TV with Yana, Dayan, Nabil and Ali, my closest cousins. i kept glancing at her bedroom door, remembering how she'd pray then come out and calmly tell us to clean up after ourselves. she was always like that. she never raised her voice to us, she spoke nicely and calmly, not hurting us, one bit. she was a lady. a true malay woman. soon, the boys went down to pray and i babysat for some of cousins. it was funny to see so many babies because i remember being the baby once. watching the toddlers play with the toys i used to play with on the same spot was different. i felt jealous. and sad for them. they didn't know the wonderful woman i knew. looking around her house, i remembered so many things. everything looked so neat and tidy even with her gone. which was how she liked it

Syed Ali : eh, ingat tak, how we broke the swings ?
Syed Dayan : yala, we kept jumping on it until it finally gave in.
Sharifah Aryana : tu la, this was ours dulu, nw look at all the brats. we had balls.
Syed Nabil : EHEHEHE
Sharifah Aleysha : the screws were all broken, Tok had no idea wht to do with us. HAHA

Ku Ketinggalan Zaman
Saturday, September 27, 2008

it's been sometime now, since what's ever happened.
and yet, things get harder by the day.
i'm happy now.
but once in a while, my head wanders off to where we were once standing. crying and shouting trying to prove ourselves.
is it selfish if i end up doing something for myself ? just this once ?
i miss so many and so much.
sshh, my cries are silent for you.
so if you keep talking, you won't hear me anymore.
i can't remember the last time you stopped complaining and i stopped pretending.
you pushed me on the swings but i fell, you didn't hear me !
i said i'm not ready !
cant you hear me, i'm sorry, your too busy talking.
don't worry i'll be quiet now, but not for long.
i'm not HER, or THEM, i'm ME
so deal with it.
my hearts stopped beating because you held on too tight again.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

who's the pussy now ?
someone told me what you wrote on your private blog.
why am i suddenly the bad guy ?
dude, i always tahan with your behaviour.
but, hey, you only want someone who cares about you.
i'm not on anyone's side but you pissed me off.
we were all OK.
you just had to bring it up again.
whatever, i'm going to focus on my PMR and the party.
continue the drama if you'd like, just without me.

ciao darling,
your so not worth my time.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

i just realised i have the greatest group of friends ever. and we're completely different. but we're still there for each other, well, at least some of us. i can seriously imagine us driving in our cars, with the blasting radio of our favourite songs. we live loud, work hard, play harder and rock hardcore, bitch.

We're ladies and ladies shouldnt be messed with !
If it was Pawan's car, it'd be something acoustic like Colbie Caillat
If it was Vee's car, it'd be a rock ballad like Theory of a Dead Man
If it was Shasha's car, it'd be metal like Metallica maybe
If it was Sophie's car, it'd be jazz or classical like Nat King Cole
If it was Jeanny's car, it'd be somewhat rock like Avril Lavigne
If it was Dee's car, it'd be something real techno, Medic Droid
If it were my car, it'd be somewhat alternative or hardcore like Bullet For My Valentine
but i just can't wait to spend me time with me girls after PMR and SPM, just hanging out.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A for artistic ; Didi !
B for bestie ; Vee !
C for clown ; Ariff !
D for dearly ; Yana !
E for entertaining ; Kak Nani !
F for funny ; Lee !
G for girly ; Fatin !
H for horny ; Jaz !
I for irritating ; Eddy !
J for jock ; Hijaz !
K for kinky ; Pei Wen !
L for loser ; Mirmir !
M for motherly ; Kak Leya !
N for nymphomaniac ; Shasha !
O for optimistic ; Jeanny !
P for pessimist ; Mama !
Q for queen ; Thats Me !
R for rockers ; Mukhlis, Rais, Alann !
S for silly ; Daniel
T for thinker ; Sophie
U for understanding ; Mama !
V for vendetta ; The 93's !
W for wise ; Papa !
X for XOXO ; Everyone !
Y for youthful ; Marin
Z for zonked ; Tana !

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no
The very thing you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same
And it's all because you lied
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

Resentment by Beyonce

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I wish i could point out all your flaws.
List down all you've done.
Do what you did.
Be as selfish as you.
Kick you when YOUR down.
Show you how much you've hurt me.

And tell everyone,
but then, you won't be perfect and sweet anymore,
and we sure as hell can't have that.

I love you.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

i have officially kicked asthma's ass.
after getting 9 or 12 injections.
and an overdose of oxygen.

All About Me

- Each player of this game starts off with 15 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
- People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 15 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
- At the end, you need to choose 5 people to be tagged and list their names.
- No tags back!

1. I was supposed to be named Aysha after the Prophet's daughter, Aishah.

2. I don't trust anybody, especially my boyfriend.

3. I forgive but never forget.

4. They say i'm the strongest one in my family.

5. I go to sleep with a really stinky pillow which i call 'Papoh !'

6. I look exactly like my dad's second sister when i wear the tudung.

7. I have the extreme habit of biting my fingers until they bleed.

8. I was a slight anorexic when i was younger.

9. I love a good concert.

10. I sometimes wonder how people can fall in love easily.

11. I got my first asthma attack when i was 10 months old.

12. I've worn a black bad on my right hand ever since form 1, when Edy gave it to me.

13. I change my handwriting ever year.

14. I don't bow down to anybody.

15. I made a promise to marry someone, no conditions.

-Pei Wen

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