Your Personal

Hollow's Eve
Saturday, October 31, 2009

"are you afraid of halloween ?"

ahh yes halloween. but this year, my halloween was special. because i got to go to the AAR concert losers ! it was awesome ! a lot of waiting though but still fun. i hung out with Choo and all again. walked around with Vee. we thought of going into the V.I.P section but i changed my mind and we had a better time just jumping around in the crowd.

people dressed up and painted their faces. it was just a lot of fun in all. i hung out with Lee too. aww, i missed the bugger. i had fun with him. now i find so much pleasure in ejek-ing him. i know, mean. boohoo cry.

tired, so imma fuck off now. nights faggots !

"no, i'm afraid of you."

Friday, October 30, 2009

don't stop !
make it pop !
DJ, blow my speakers up
tonight, imma fight
till we see the sunlight

exactly what i'll be doing after my exams. hell to the fuck yeah !


i dream of the weirdest things ! dear god, last night was no different. i had the longest dream ever. it was real long. i only remember a pinch of it.

i meet a boy through a friend of ours who owns a restaurant. i don't remember his character but the weird thing is i call him Sid Vicious throughout the whole dream. he obviously has his own name but i only call him that.

he's emo, he wears leather. and we have the most emo love there is. we tear each other apart but we cant live without each other. someone help. does this sound familiar ?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

"did it hurt ?"
"what ?"
"when i left you."
"yeah, alot."

Perlahan kau pun
Lupakan aku
mimpi buruk mu
Dimana telah
ku tancapkan duri tajam
Kau pun menangis
menangis sedih
Maafkan aku"

Ambition ?
Wednesday, October 28, 2009

so guess what ? next year, i'll be having my SPM, i know, *pulls hair off head*. so other than the fact that i'll be signing up for a MASSIVE tuition fee. i shall also be signing up for drum classes. Pei Wen and i have been looking for a chick drummer that's hot and fun. so just in case we don't find her, we'll just have to settle for me. :P

I'm getting an eletric guitar ! most probably secondhand lah. and i have to get

5 A1's

at least, for my SPM. ughh, someone shoot me now. i really would like an electric guitar now but since they're actually going to get me one, i won't pester them. i mean, electric guitars cost a bomb ! to add to the guitar, you need the amp. so mahal jugak lah. so since they're getting me one, i gotta work hard at it. haihh. help !

Hello Kitty Everybody
Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Yana gave my mum a hello kitty mouse on her birthday. how original right ? so right now, i'm typing on mak's laptop. and having the most disturbing thing just stare at me. it's so bright ! it changes colour too, as if that's what i need.

Asha crying ! bye !

Give Me A Hint
Saturday, October 24, 2009

so guess what ? i told mak what i wrote for my english paper. the concept at least. so se told me that i should write it into a script, so i guess i should start in a bit. this would be my third script idea. shhh ! no one tell my mother. so here goes,



i woke up this morning around 12 something. after a bit, i checked my phone and saw that none other than Jaz, my gay ass brother missed called me. i was like "ohhh sheeet". mesti dia nak kacau i. so i messaged him but only later that night did he call me back. so we talked abit. of course, the usual

"why you tak call i ?"
"you have college, nak i kacau ? you should call me."

ah, i missed him. the last time i saw him was at Safa where i suddenly saw him and of course merajuk since he didn't call OR message me. but of course, tak lama, so i gave him a hug and we went off into our respected groups.

he's got a new girl now, oh so sweet. *wipes tear out of eye*

this better not be another dose of drama. i mean, we've been "adik beradik" since i was 13. we have been through alot, okayy ! i don't have a picture of him. but don't worry. take it from me, he doesn't look THAT bad.

Jaz ! Lepak jom !

Mummy !

i love you mum !
celebrated Mak's birthday awhile back. she's 54 ! whoa dude.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna
Friday, October 23, 2009


Hey Stranger

so this is what its come to ?
you ignoring me
me ignoring you

they really want us to be friends
but you're a little too immature

it's okay,
you're sorry
i'm sorry

all is forgiven but not forgotten

this charade will go on forever
until we actually let go of each other

"maybe, one day, we'll meet again and we can start over as friends."

well, i won't be waiting.

Lyrical Mess
Tuesday, October 20, 2009

"i hope you don't mind,
i hope you don't mind,
that i put down in words,
how wonderful life is,
now you're in the world."

Old Pictures

pictures taken at cheer 09. Harith just forgot em.

Monday, October 19, 2009


Anything About Us

i'm outside of the house holding onto an umbrella. it started raining the night before, somewhere around the time i shouted in your face.

"that's the most arrogant thing to say !"

my umbrella is colourful among the many black ones. it wasn't even mine. i just took it without thinking. i was too busy thinking, as usual, to not realize you walking up to me. coming out of my daze, i see you and smile. and out of the corner of my eye, i could see them point at us and whisper.

you looked nervous when you said sorry. and truth be told, i was shocked you even cared. i'm sorry i shouted at you. that just hit a sore spot.

i remember the first night at the house. when we both got bored so we went for a walk. now that alley was scary. with the idea of stray dogs. you were so hyper ! and we just talked about everything we could think of.

"i miss our conversations already."

my birthday party was even better. especially when you danced. and it was interesting when you came on time. i guess it's good being half european. :P

it definitely got complicated, but i'm glad you're still a good friend.

"babayy ! chowss."

i saw the message when i was cleaning out my inbox. don't worry, i didn't fully wipe you out. too bad, we didn't take any pictures, at least i could put it up here. maybe when you come back here, we'll lepak. we can go to a club and dance. and i'll dance circles around you. joookes. :)

hopefully none of your girls will find this post offensive.

oh and i don't have a boyfriend lah. just lots of problems.

and you were special too.

Rain, Rain Is Here To Stay
Saturday, October 17, 2009

it's been weird lately. it doesn't rain in the day, just at night or in the morning and when it rains, it rains cats and dogs. but it's so calming to me. i could just drift away into my own little world, fucked up as it may be. the thunder sends shudders down my spine but i like it, it gives me a sense of living. and being afraid of thunder, to me, is just real weird. i mean, lightning, i get it. but thunder ?

i hung out at Vee's place just now for Diwali. which was so much fun. i hung out with Choo alot. seeing as i barely lepak with him nowadays. we just sat down, listening to music and he told me all his girl problems, as usual.

Lee has been pretty distant from me. and i feel bad. am i too mean to him or something ?

it's 4.30 in the morning and it hurts. something in me hurts. and i can't put my finger on it. i can't really figure this feeling out.

Khai, honey in my post is just a calling. even if it meant something.
Sha, i know right ? sayang gila.
White guy, i'm still just figuring out what to write.

Aww, So Sweet, No ?


Happy Deepavali !

yes ! i just love Diwali.
the lights, the parties !
ohh yeahh



I Like Them Bad, Apparently.
Friday, October 16, 2009

jailed hottie

Help Me ?

somebody get me this ? HAH ! just kidding, baby. it's probably too damn expensive and my parents are definitely going through enough. i just really want an electric guitar to practice on. acoustic is great. but i want something i can play around with. but isn't it just beautiful ? honey ! help ! god, i'm drooling.

True ?

eh white guy, i thought i was special. :P joookess


Maria Mena
Thursday, October 15, 2009

Well I saw you with your hands above your head
Spinning around, trying not to look down
But you did, and you fell, hard on the ground
Then you stumbled around for a good ten minutes
And I said I'd never seen anyone look so dumb before
And you laughed and said I still know how to turn you on thoughAlign Center
And I probably forgot to tell you this
Like that time when I forgot to tell you about the scar
Remember how uncomfortable that made you feel?
See you're not what I expected
But you're the only one who knows how to handle me
And you're such a great kisser and I know that you agree

I hope you can forgive me for that time
When I put my hand between your legs
And said it was small
Cuz its really not at all
I guess there's just a part of me that likes to bring you down
Just to keep you around
Cuz the day that you realize how amazing you are
You're gonna leave me

You're the only one who
Holds my hair back when I'm drunk and get sick
You're the only one who
Knows exactly what I mean

Oh My God !

she's is too hot !
Alissa White-Gluz
from the band The Agonist
i can't help but drool

I'm Hooked !

Strawberries ?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009

he turns to me and looks me in the eye. "what do you want ?", i asked, irritated. that's not the first time he tried to search through my soul. still looking at me, he doesn't answer. irritated and not knowing what else to do, i turn to walk away. but just as i move away, he grabs my wrist. and pulls me in, hugging me. i hold onto his arms as he carries me around. slowly, he lets go. i turn around to him, holding onto his hand. he pulls me in and kisses my forehead. he looks at me and slowly whispers in my ear

"you smell like strawberries."


"life is what happens when you're too busy planning it"

i just finished studying accounts. not much difference it's going to make though. i just can't seem to get anything in my. tomorrow i'm going to give a go at economy and history. i hope on scoring for history. i like my history teacher. and this year seems to be more interesting.

form 4 is almost over. i mean, it's October already. two more months to go and then i'll have to remind myself that i'm form 5 and i have SPM. shit it.

my life is going to take me somewhere. and yes, being a teenager, i am afraid.

i plan on stuff that i hope to happen in the future. but i'm never really sure it's what i want let alone, what i'll get. so, this sucks. i hate it when my head just suddenly decides to make these ideas and thoughts pop up. and now, i'm rambling. ughhh

so here i am, sixteen and way too mature for my age. ask my family members.

Ouch ?!


Juuust Greeeaaat !
Tuesday, October 13, 2009

my dad is being a stubborn prick and now i can't go out cause, why ? i have to study. unfair how he doesn't see me studying so it's embedded in his head that i don't. and the fact that Kak Leya and Kak Nani didn't go, so he lost all hope in us. so now i have to work extra hard so my dad would "invest" in my studies. so mak says.

but i wanted to go to charm ! i miss cheer, i didn't go last week cause i was in Melbourne. and now, i can't go for no bloody reason. i can only go out for tuition and school and oh ! family stuff. that's bullshit, i can't go out to study but i can go out anytime with the family and studying wouldn't be much kan ?

whatever, i still have my guitar and my laptop. thank god.

ohh yeah, white person. what do you want me to write about you ?

Vanity In Australia

Stalking Act
Monday, October 12, 2009

eh, white guy, jom ah. i'll dance circles around you.

Shrine Time !

Gimme danger little stranger
And I feel with you at ease
Gimme danger little stranger
And I feel your disease
There's nothing in my dreams
Just some ugly memories
Kiss me like the ocean breeze

Now if you will be my lover
I wish you were insane
But you can't be my master
I will do you anything
There's nothing left alive
But a pair of glassy eyes
Left my feelings one more time

Just Me
Sunday, October 11, 2009


Tear Me Open

come on, louder. no, louder.

yeah, now pump up the bass.

just like that.

come on baby, let's dance.

man, i wanna dance so badly. i don't care where or with who. i just wanna dance with pumping music in my ears. i'll let the rhythm take me away. just take me away.

there's just so much going on now. and i have no idea what i'm going to do but i know dancing will help me just let go.

i was talking to Ron about it the other day and it shocked him when i said i could dance to screamo and metal. i mean, there's a dance rhythm in everything. and it's not that hard to find if you look for it.

lately, i've just been dancing about in my room. but still doesn't feel the same. maybe i should just call some friends over for a dance party. not that much of my friends dance anyway. oh well, i can try.

i miss cheer. so i'm going this wednesday. i can actually do a heelstretch now. awesome-ness !

but i just wanna dance ! someone, move with me ?

Hey Sid
Saturday, October 10, 2009

where'd all your fucking promises go ?

it's okay.
we'll get high one day.
and maybe the pain will go away.

punks so not dead baby.
and you know it.

we still have the afterlife, honey.

Grand Lover and Interesting Rival

When the king pairs with the queen, heads turn. This couple can be a royal match and generate a grand passion on a grand scale. Both are romantic, colorful, exuberant about life, and highly sexed. The main question is: Who's going to be in charge? It's difficult for one Leo to make room for another ego as large as its own, but that's exactly what's needed here. Each not only wants to sit on the throne, each wants to be the power behind it as well.

Grand lovers--and interesting rivals.
and yes, i'm into that kind of man. the Leo kind.

I'm In Love !
Thursday, October 8, 2009

News Flash !

somebody else hates me *gasps*

alert the fucking media ! kiss my arse dude. you're not the first or the last, so you're still not very special. boohoo dude ! my family and i are happy whether you like it or not, we don't give a flying rat's ass. and oh ! it's extremely lame when you write it on my BLOG CHATBOX.


it's real good. in my opinion. i didn't read the book, so i'm not that sure of it. it's really really sweet. about the love for a person you'll lose. i can't imagine losing any if my sister so this was close to heart. and the love story is soooo cute ! ugghh.

I'm Sorry
Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Oh !

a woman screams and everybody run in the opposite direction, panicking and screaming. they run into nearby shops and under bridges. they lock their house doors and hide their children away.

why ?

Leysha's back, baby !

John Mayer
Friday, October 2, 2009

I just remembered that time at the market
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
and rolled down aisle five
you looked behind you to smile back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us if we could leave
I can't remember what went wrong last September
though I'm sure you'd remind me if you had to
our love was comfortable and so broken in
I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to
my friends all approve,
say "she's gonna be good for you"
they throw me high fives
she says the Bible is all that she reads
and prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty
life of the party and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane
our love was comfortable and so broken in
she's perfectso flawless
or so they say
she thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweatpants
no makeup
so perfect
our love was comfortable and so broken in
she's perfect
so flawless
I'm not impressed
I want you back

Broken In

listen quietly
and you'll hear us cry
smile politely
and we'll try
think carefully
and wonder why
these hearts are burdened
heavy with emotion
a witches potion
we drink happily
we eat quietly
the things they say hurt
but the things we say
are better left unheard
so fragile
yet so strong
we hold our heads up
and stare at our journey so long
NO turning back
only onwards we track
here we hold hands
don't let go
don't let go
we're what we need

Johnathan Lee Zhan Yung

thank you
you're a true friend

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