Your Personal

Sshhh !
Sunday, November 30, 2008

everything is going to be okay.

everything is going to be okay.

everything is going to be okay.

everything is going to be okay.

everything is going to be okay.

right ?


is nothing like what my friends tell me.
it's so fucked up boring.
if i thought about shopping also mahal.
i am just so glad to be home.
i seriously love Malaysia.
i hate the government.
but i love my country.
other than that, 

i miss my girls !

Tagged By Jeja

1. Would you get back with your last ex if you could?
; i'm not really sure.

2. What color shirt are you wearing?
; white.

3. Would you kiss anyone on your friends list?
; yea. HEE

4. Do you have a 'thing' for someone on your friends list?
; no thing-thing. maybe a thing.

5. How many people on your top friends list do you know in real life?
; all.

6. How many kids do you want to have?
; 3

7. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
; yeap.

8. What name would you want besides the one you have?
; nothing whatsoever.

9. Would you ever make out with someone of the same sex?
; maybe.

10. What did you do for your last birthday?
; dinner with family and my oh-so fabulous Ara friends threw flour at me.

11. What's your main ringtone on your phone?
; te-net-te-net-te-net. ciplak phne ma.

12. What time did you wake up today?
; 2p.m.

13. What were you doing two nights ago?
; otw to singapore. so glad i'm home.

14. Do you like having your hair pulled?
; no. thts jst retarded.

15. Name something you can't wait to do.
; celebrate the new years.

16. Last time you saw your mom
; lunch time.

17. What is one thing you wish you could change about yourself?
; nothing. i like me exactly the way i am. pffft.

18. If you had $250,000, what would you do with it?
; help me family and all that charity bull.

19. how long have you worked at your current job?
; job ? what job ?

20. Have you ever talked to Tom?
; aa-who ?

21.Describe the underwear you have on?
; blue with red polkadots and red lace on the side. HAHA

22. Last thing you ate?
; sambal tumis ikan bilis.

23. What's your favorite month?
; November

24. Your least favorite month?
; July

25. What's the last piece of clothing someone borrowed from you?
; my phne.

26. Who is getting on your nerves right now?
; you. alala no la. just kidding.

27. Most visited webpage?
; po.. ehh, myspace obviously. pshht.

28. Last person you text messaged?
; eddy

29. Last person to make you sad?
; sister. 

30. Would you take a bullet for your best friend?
; hell yea.

31. Favorite kind of drink?
; root beer

32. Favorite food?
; Penang food.

33. Favorite dessert?
; sticky rice with mangoes.

34. Have you been to Europe?
; nope.

35. If someone you hated died, what would you do?
; give my condolences to the family, besides, i don't hate anyone.

I Tag:
Pei Wen

Sunday, November 23, 2008

i haven't been having a good weekend but yesterday, during jamm, my boys were there for me. 
maybe they knew, maybe they didn't but they still managed to cheer me up. 
which is why i love me boys.

Bandmates ?
more like brothers

Thursday, November 20, 2008

i seriously don't get what's the point of having a blog if you don't exactly write what you want because you want to seem nice. it's too fake for me. i know my family members read my blog which is why it's kind of odd for me to write my feelings. everybody expects me to write sweet things about everything and anyone, i happen to not give a shit about. so from now on, i swear i will write whatever i feel. nicely or not.

so here goes,

i think your an asshole. you definitely think more about yourself than anyone else. my friends are everything to me so get over it if they are just taking care of me. at least somebody does. you keep saying i changed. so what ? you say you love me. so if i change won't you love me no matter what ? i sure as hell do. so stop wasting my time.

i think your a loser. not a bitch, your just way too sweet. i'm glad your over everything that happened because i sure as hell am tired of listening to everybody ask me dumbass questions. btw, there are no sides to this. everybody got hurt and everybody made mistakes. you could have pretended to care and wait a little longer but hey that's your problem.

i think your an idiot. if you really don't like me say it to my face. i can handle shit. just don't waste my time, smiling at my face then going behind my back talking ass about me. complain all you want. about everything and nothing. if you really think he's perfect go for it.

so to who it may concern,
this is me telling you that i don't hate you, i don't hate anyone. i've already forgiven you even if you think there's no need for that. but if you do get on my nerves ever again, it will hurt.
i don't give a rat's ass about what anybody thinks. because i'm a bitch and in Pawan's words

" i am what i am "
and i'm alot better at being me than anybody else

Seriously ?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008

he doesn't know me anymore. Why ?

because i now go where i want, wear what i want and listen to who i want. 
i do what i want.

i love my freedom. because i am a teenager and i do want to spend my time with my friends and family. because i never could easily do it before.

Vee Leysha

I give it about a year until you guys get back together.
I seriously doubt that.
Oh, come on, you guys are soo in love.
Ok, fine, you wanna know when i'll get back together with him ?
When ?
When the world comes to an end and god walks on this very earth and he explains to us about why we're here.

Tagged by Dee
Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Pick your birth month.
- Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
- Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you.
- Copy to your own blog, with all twelve months.
- Tag 5 people.

-Fun to be with.
-Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
-Quiet unless excited or tensed.
-Takes pride in oneself.
-Has reputation.
-Easily consoled.
-Concerned about people's feelings.
-Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
-Moody and easily hurt.
-Witty and sparkly.
-Not revengeful.
-Forgiving but never forgets.
-Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
-Guides others physically and mentally.
-Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
-Caring and loving.
-Treats others equally.
-Strong sense of sympathy.
-Wary and sharp.
-Judges people through observations.
-No difficulties instudy ing.
-Loves to be alone.
-Always broods about the past and the old friends.
-Likes to be quiet.
-Homely person.
-Waits for friends.
-Never looks for friends.
-Not aggressive unless provoked.
-Prone to having stomach and dieting problems.
-Loves to be loved.
-Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves travelling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills.Talk ative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor.


Nana sayang Hachi :' )
i know you'll always be there,
i'm always here.
jangan takut.

Really ?

Boy Girl

i didnt say that she understood me better than u. i told u before, at one point it was kinda useless talking to u. my heart was on fire and she was the one who calmed it down. i know she's nothing like you. i've told you so many times why. u may be a bitch bt u aint to me. i'm sorry i forgot u. and u know why.
excuses. excuses. excuses. and what ? oh ! more excuses.

Time Will Tell

i wrote this poem some time ago. it makes more sense now. HEE

hey you
remember me ?
remember the fence we climbed
to get to our tree  ?
remember our swings ?
they still swing, see ?
i still love lollipops
do you still love me ?
i finally rode a bike
did you ever forgive me ?
am i still yours to hug ?
am i still baby ?
have you grown up ?
or are you still nerdy ?
oh you got a job
you were never lazy
i still wear the ring
did you ever miss me ?
oh you still play guitar
play a song for me ?
did you ever make an effort
to come visit me ?
because i felt real bored
without you there with me
a little bird told me
you fight with someone new now
someone who made you really happy
is she good at fights ?
as good as me ?
i bet she's real pretty
i won't be long
so tell her not to worry
does she call you sayang
or baby, maybe even honey ?
oh no i took too long
she's already starting calling, see ?
i didn't mean to do so,
please tell her im sorry
good luck emo
please treat her nicely
treat her like you never have
treat her better than me
quickly go
no, im not crying silly
quick, don't make her wait
don't just stand there
staring at me
im going to miss you
but i'd rather set you free
so i guess, here's your ring back
no, don't worry about me
im going away now
i'll miss you honey
i'll always love you
will you always love me ?

Patriotism ?

i find people who hate their own country, arrogant.

i mean, seriously ? a lot of my friends want to move out of Malaysia for good and go to Europe which has equally horrible problems. i would like to go abroad to study, for the exposure not because i hate my country. i mean, that seriously doesn't make any sense. to hate your country, is to hate your home and your family. to be ashamed of your country is to be ashamed of the people who fought for your future so long ago.

i on the other hand love my country and dislike, purely dislike our poor government.
but i do pray they become better.

i love my country because we dont have wars. the harshest weather we can get is heat. we don't have volcanoes or earthquakes. we have beautiful landscapes and islands. we are amazingly modern people compared to other countries. i also love my country for the reason i was born here and my mother was born here and my grandmothers were born here.

i dislike Sejarah because of poor story telling and lack of interest from the writers.

Why ?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Boy Girl
You still mad kan ? i called her baby.
Not mad, sakit hati.
Why can't you terima yang i lupa ?

Because you forgot me. Nobody else but me. You said somebody understood you better than me. You said she treated you better than how i did. And your reason was because you thought she was me. She's nothing like me and you know it. Because i'm a bitch and she's too sweet. I only smile when i feel like it. She smiles all the fucking time. You were the only person i could manja with but you forgot that. You forgot ME.

Friday, November 7, 2008

i just gotta ask, why do people always smile in front of you and then behind you, always criticise you. i really don't get it. i mean, even if you do act nice, i'm still gonna think your a bitch after i find out you've been talking about me behind my back. same effect, only slower. hey, who knows, maybe if you do tell me whats so wrong with me that i disgust you, maybe then i can change for the better. rather than wasting your time faking smiles and whispering behind my back.

you might think that i'm being hypocritical but honestly, i don't do that. if i have a problem with that person, i would gladly tell it to their face. so, they can either get out of my life or turn another cheek. i'm used to girls not liking me. and i don't really care, i just wish they would stop lying.

True Friends ?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008

she's my Blurr

she's my Joker

she's my Gossip

i'm their Bitch

Need i say more ?


he called her baby when she called him honey.
i don't know why she called him honey.
maybe she knew or maybe she didn't but he was my honey.
and i was his baby. and she took that from me.
i know i broke up with him. i don't regret anything.
she just took away my sweetest memory.
his excuse was he thought she was me.
when we're totally different.

she came to my house and laughed with me.
i treated her normally.
i knew in my heart at the time but i wasn't sure.
she could have told me. as a friend, i trusted her.
she could have pretended to care.
but i guess that's my fault.

despite all this. i still forgave her. because she said sorry with all her heart. and your supposed to forgive people when they do that for you.

Please Don't Call Me Baby Anymore
Sunday, November 2, 2008

he told me something a few days ago. i knew it was going on and that didn't hurt me. what hurt me, were the very few things that slipped his mind. i guess it's okay. i don't know. i can't tell anyone what he told me and what hurt me most. but the fact that he thought i didn't know hurt. does he really think i'm that stupid ? i won't treat her any diffrently because i know that would be unfair. because in a way, he hurt her too.

but he was my honey and i was his baby. but he forgot that and i'll be alright.

The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It's simple and it's plain
Why should I complain.
But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed
- the winner takes it all by ABBA

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