Vee asked me this a while ago.

my answer ?
yes

what am i supposed to do ? i literally feel a hole in me chest where my heart should be. as if my heart just got bored and decided to fly away. as if it's mad at me for ignoring love so it went off to look for it on it's own.

i'm incapable of feeling. i can't cry. i laugh because i can. but i just do very little of feeling. i'm not sad, i'm not happy, i'm not guilty, i'm lost. tired and lost. i feel bad for my friends. they have so many problems. i can't help much but give them comfort in my words. but how does that help when i can't ossibly understand what they went through.

"i wish i could cry for you."

i really really don't want to fall for anybody right now. it'll just hurt. but so many things are getting in the way. what if my heart comes back and i fall, hard ? what do i do then ? i'm falling over the edge trying not to break down. maybe i can love but i'll hate myself. i'm not the ideal peson to love. i'm cranky, i have terrible mood swings and i can be terribly mean for no bloody reason.