so this depression doesn't surprise me. i always do this. especially when i'm not able to sleep. i just know that this behaviour worries my family. but i can't help it. i could break down at any moment. and there is absolutely nothing i can do about it. this whole emo thing is quite the contrast compared to my positive outlook in life. i'm a leo, it's in my blood.

i remember somebody said he'd be there for me whenever i needed him. guess not. my heart aches. and i have no idea why. i'm not very important and i see that. i can't complain, i'm no better. he keeps reminding me everyday about it anyways. he's setting my heart on fire and he doesn't even realise it.

i wonder what christmas will be like. i know boxing day, i'll be going to Rock The World. awesome bands attending. get ready ! but all i know is New Years is going to be happy and fun between family and friends. so i can't wait.