i'm trying to get back up but i can't. i have no idea why it's becoming worse. it's weird, i can laugh when i want too but that dead feeling won't leave. i can't see straight sometimes. i spent half an hour in class staring at the whiteboard cause i thought there was something written on it.

i don't get it. it hurts way too much. and i'm quite sure it has nothing to do with that. so what's going on ? i can literally feel my heart falling. sometimes i have to remind myself to catch a breath.

is there something wrong with me ? i'm forgetting a lot of things lately which is weird cause i happen to remember quite easily. this one is pretty bad. i can feel it eating me from the inside and i have no idea whether this time i'll be alright.