because i don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.

wow, it's been so long. almost a whole week since my last post. now that's weird. i don't think i've gone longer than three days before updating about something. well, at least i've got my flow back but i guess i just won't be updating as much as i used to. sorry guys.

cheer is coming along well. i'm just so tired though. i have tons of stuff to do everyday and i guess it's really taking it's toll on me. i don't even know whether i'll have enough energy to hang out on Friday night.

i finished my add maths project, finally en ? but it was a fun and easy process and i'm helping some friends out as well.

i watched Remember Me today. pretty good. real heartfelt and sweet. it's mostly about families which i think we all could relate to. but it's really cool how the surprise made me "holy hell" like really loudly in my room.

hey, i've been happy these past few weeks. so far so good i guess. things seem to be slowly falling back into place and i'm getting comfortable. but not too comfortable. not yet kot. we gotta see how these things go.

i wrote a love letter the other day. i forgot what i wrote in it though. all i know is that i was real honest when i was writing it so i hope they like it. even if they don't like it or even agree, at least i told the truth right ? right. so now i'm in the mood of writing my poems and songs again. i just need to look for someone with a good melody who won't steal my words.

no takers it seems. oh well. goodnight lovers.

because you come, then you get me all used to you and your weird ass habits you never had before then you come up with a really lame reason to leave so i'll just miss you all over again. then, when i finally start to get used to someone new or life without you, you pop yourself right back into my life.

just finished me Economy homework. i hate how much you have to write for the damned subject. i can barely concentrate on one thing when they want me to get to the next one. kinda like life, with a lot more statistics.

holidays are officially over and my teachers have already started on the "you don't have much time left" speeches. i mean, we have 5 freagin months to spare y'know ! okay okay, not long for us to study. but bugger long for us to study and wait for the inevitable.

this weekend is bringing a lot my way. with the babies' birthdays and Urbanscape. but i'm breathing in and out and taking one step at a time. this is so stupid. i'm stressing out over about everything and i can't possibly handle that right now.

Cheer 2010 is in a few more weeks and we still have a lot of work to do. but we're just too darn busy and i really could not give a rat's ass for some reason. which is wrong. come on Leysha, where's the passion ?

haihh, i guess i should go now. this post is getting long. and i'm running out of things to babble about. i'll see you freaky deaks soon.

one day, i'll bring flowers to you everyday.

it's gonna be the anniversary soon and they're making a book of her. everything she ever said to anyone. anything that would make her her. everybody's given their piece but i still can't figure out mine.

it's weird because i literally can't remember anything now. it hurts to know that i won't be able to remember her much soon. Mak kept asking me how could i forget. and i honestly don't know. i just, did.

she's such an amazing woman. so why can't i remember anything.

i hate this ! this stupid thing is taking them from me ! i can barely remember anything. it's so stupid. when did this start anyways ? it's as if somebody's randomly picking my memories out of my brains. are you kidding me ?!

one thing i remember clearly is when she told me i was a bad actor after one of the scenes i did. i smiled and agreed because to me it was true. she was almost always right. so after that i fought and gave my best.

she did that for a lot of people. she made them fight to become better at what they were doing or even being a better person. she had a knack for understanding people. i don't remember much but i do remember her being a big part of what makes me, me. she did that for many and many to come.

because you know i was never really good with talking about my feelings.

hello my pretties. haven't had my line so couldn't online for a few days. i feel seriously left behind. funny kan ? it's so weird. a few days without internet and i was free but when i'm back feel all kinds of left behind.

i've gotten new music loves. they kept me sane while studying and when i didn't have my internet. but they're of different genres. like completely different. trust me to stick to status quo right ?

i bought myself a planner. but it's real cool and i'll finally be using it since i don't wanna let anybody down or anything. it's real pretty. it's got pictures all over and simple calenders. just the way i like it.

i need to get my room going. i should do it this weekend. but knowing me, something will go terribly wrong. and i will neither have no time or energy for it. so yes !

this post sounds stupid. oh well, i love you !

you're hardcore but you'll need a bit more to get my attention.

i've had this blog for almost three years now. still wondering whether i should delete it on it's third anniversary. but not really delete it. more like leave it alone so people can still read about this effed up girl. i just feel like making a new one for a new chapter in my life.

so, okay. just to see how many still want me to continue with this blog or to continue writing a blog, i'll need you guys to write on my cbox and tell me what your thinking. and by 28th of June i'll make my decision.

the babyies will be turning 1 on the 26th of June. really awkward that they were born on that day. and now, they're almost one and almost taking they're first few steps. amazing how much i lve these little ones. even more than myself in fact.

i'm leaving for Lee's Fuck Fest soon. yes, that is the name of the event. but it's actually just a pool party and some close friends. can't wait to let go and run loose. so until the next time.

kisses freaks.

there's something extremely nostalgic about the smell of flowers.

i keep wondering what happened to those days where all the drama ruled. my friendships were tested daily and i lost so many in so little time. how did they disappear so fast ? it's as if i blinked and everything changed to today.

i'm on my couch downstairs. and everything seems like time has stopped. something i've wanted for so long. but who am i kidding ? i know every breath will take me further away from my childhood.

i need to look for new songs and bands. my play list is becoming more familiar by the day. i don't really like familiar. i don't really update much kan ? sorry guys. but i have a feeling not a lot of people read my blog anymore. i'm pretty dull nowadays.

my mood has been pretty good these last few days. not counting a few ups and downs last week. but yes ! i am feeling beautiful.

oh my god ! we played shoe rugby just now. it was awesome ! we played three games. first one, the boys won. second one, Joey, Lee and I won and the last one, we ended it after a tie of 2 points. because we were just so tired.

i had way too much fun with my friends. the prom is definitely on. so we definitely cannot wait. i can't believe the amount of dumb ass things we did just now. too effing hilarious. too bad this won't last much longer.

i'll see you around my lovers.

i felt that heartbeat and it scared me.


holidays are finally here and i just wanna get out of here. not very weird seeing as how i've always wanted to get out of my own skin. for no apparent reason what-so-ever.

this really weird thing is happening to me. i'm forgetting so many things. i had to reset my password for my blogger because i actually forgot my password. padahal i baru je online semalam. sakit hati betul.

i watched the movie, "10 Things I Hate About You". it's real good. it's not the typical teenage bullshit movie. it's really good. it quotes Shakespeare ! and i am like, dude ! i love this movie.

gonna watch The Notebook tonight. but i gotta see how this night goes. and at this moment, i can't believe it's only 3 in the morning. hmmm, i'm tired. but i can't sleep and i wanna bathe. and i wanna make myself a to-do-list.

"i burn, i pine, i perish"

just for now, i'm not gonna expect too much. i'm just gonna have fun with it.


exams are almost over. two more days to go. had Economy just now which was pretty simple. but they just had to keep us in school until the very last minute for our stupid add maths project. i'll be finishing early tomorrow. yeay ! sleep !

holidays gonna be starting soon as well. but as usual, they need to go out with a bang so my last paper will be accounts. i mean, why ?! anything else would have been better. even add maths.

i stare out into space, a lot. did you know that ? it's weird when i do it and i don't even realise i just wasted at least 5 minutes of my life. like in the exams hall just now, it was real weird cause i just wandered off every 10 minutes. thank god i got to finish in time.

i've got only two more papers left. Economy paper 2 and Accounts. i'm really gearing up for accounts but i'm not in the mood for Economy. it is soooo confusing it sucks. no wonder lah he dropped it but still ! i will not give up !