because my mind is made up of roads and dark alleys and even i don't have a map for it.

i'm so tired. this weekend will be even more tiring. so many things happening. so many of them i don't even want to care for. but i'll have to and we'll have to smile. so remember to smile, my friends. it'll keep you warm inside even when the ice chills you to the bone.

Mak's tahlil is this Saturday. exactly one year and i can feel it. exactly one year and just hearing the day, i'm catapulted back into the days i spent this last year. some were extremely special. others, not so much. my memory hasn't been very good though. but so far, i have yet to forget the extremely important ones. the ones with the most baggage.

watched Inception today. it was absolutely brilliant. i've been pretty reluctant lately listening to everybody's opinion with anything that has to do with movies but this was freaking awesome and i have to agree with almost everybody else who watched it.

i don't wanna wait anymore. i'm tired of waiting. i don't know. i don't feel anything anymore. you give really bad excuses and just because you did it once you think it'll make everything so much better. it doesn't help. you're still gonna give me all kinds of problems after this and i'm way too tired for that.

i'm so confused and i have no idea why. it's like my heart wants to tear me apart and send all my parts all over the world so it'll finally be satisfied. this body to no longer hold the scars it talks about. i'm tired. yes, i'm an ass but that's just because i don't wanna fall behind in the heart ache again.