because this is only going to break us. and we all know this.

the sun is gonna show it's face soon and i'm still not tired. but i'll try to sleep in a bit. it's just that this head is going crazy with things it wants to say and things it wants to forget. it's a bloody flea market in there and it's giving me really bad headaches. but i'll get better, i always do.

was alone at home today. everybody was out and i didn't feel like going out that early. i like being at home alone. i'm never afraid. it is my home after all. you feel a kind of freedom every time you're at home alone and i was having the time of my life just chilling and hanging out in my room. once in a while going down to get myself something to drink or something to chew on.

so do you miss me ? you say you do but i don't think so because how do you miss something when you've never even held it ? does your heart tell you to come and hold my hand or are you too afraid to fight ? because this is going to hurt you more than it's going to hurt me. most definitely.

i miss the beach. i love the beach. i was always in love with the beach. it's where i grew up. where i wanted to spend my whole days at. i can't wait to go to Penang for Raya. after all the celebrating, all i wanna do is go to the beach and wet my feet. i'm gonna get on a Jet Ski and go out and breathe in the air and let my mind go free.

just imagine, if i get to go to LA, i'll forever close by to a beach and i love that fact. you can feel the wind wherever you are and the sky will be blue, smiling down at you. so maybe going to the states is a good thing. then when i'm old and tired and my head and heart have given in, i'm going to go back to Penang and buy a house by the beach. and i'm going to spend my days there thanking God for everything he will and has ever given me.

for what is the present but our past's future.