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And Now I'm Searching Through These Carousels
Friday, November 2, 2012



Quiet down, my love.
I try to breathe easy as you sleep next to me.
I will muffle out my tears so you never know.
Don't worry, my sweet love.
I am here waiting for you to wake, to come back to me.
And if you don't, then I'll look for you in my slumber.

I feel the need to run away from you. I want to feel your strong arms hold me back but who am I kidding. There's no fighting in this. For either of us. We're either so strong or so close to crumbling to the ground. I can't remember the last time I felt safe in your arms. I can't pretend but I don't feel you anymore. Your warmth has left my skin and all I can do now is look for that warmth.

I don't know where to go anymore. It's like my body is on overdrive. I do everything I do because I have to not because I want to. I can't even hold myself back, from saying the truth or from lying. It's like I lost myself or I lost the need to take care of myself.

All this pent up anger is going to kill me. From the inside, the fire will grow, and I'll spontaneously burst, allowing the flames to eat away at my skin and I won't try to stop it because it'll be too late by then. I would have lost myself, but more importantly, you will have lost me. I know, not much of a loss, is it?

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